Seven years ago, I pulled in to a church parking lot at 7:00AM on a Saturday to pray with a group that would be driving down to Mexico to build a home for a family that was living in very, very poor conditions. I was asked to go on the trip with the group, but was unable to go due to a conflict in my work schedule.
The group that was going to Mexico was packing their camping gear, and I was waiting patiently for the prayer to begin. A very nice couple asked me who I was "seeing off," and I replied that I had just come to the church to pray with the group. They asked me what my name is, and after I told them, we realized that they knew of and had gone to school with some of my dad's family. The song, "It's a Small World After All" started playing it's tune in my head. I think I even started hearing the little Dutch children sing.
While chatting with them, a nice-looking young man came up and told his mom and dad "hello". He and I exchanged names and started talking about our involvement in theater productions. At that point in time, we had two things in common: we enjoy doing mission work and we have fun participating in theater productions.
I didn't see that man until seven months later, when I sat directly behind him at the church's Christmas program. He played trombone and I did an interpretive dance during the program. For the first half of the program, I knew I had seen him before, but I didn't know from where. When I looked at his name in the program, I remembered that he was the guy I talked to in the parking lot before the Mexico trip. Luckily, he turned around to shake my hand during the "greet and shake hands with everyone in your general-vicinity" part of the program. Throughout the rest of the program, when I looked at him, I smiled one of those smiles that made me almost embarrassed to smile. After the program was over, he and I chatted, but we didn't make plans to see each other again. So, I was left to wonder if/when I would see him again.
We saw each other occasionally at church, but never did he attempt to get my number or ask to see me outside of church. I figured he wasn't interested.
Starting in January of the next year, I got an instant message from him. At the time, I didn't know how he got my e-mail address, but I was glad he did. (He later told me that it was quite an ordeal to find my e-mail address.) The first chat we had was quite long. However, there was still no mention of seeing each other outside of church or cyberspace.
One day, I was on my computer at a coffee shop that was walking-distance from where I lived. I liked to go there to create my lesson plans and grade papers and assignments. Since I had access to the internet, I had my instant message opened. I didn't know that the sound was up on my computer, so I was startled when I heard the instant-message sound. It was him.
After chatting for a while, he asked what I was doing that evening. I told him I was busy grading at the coffee shop, to which he answered that he would come keep me company. I believe that was the night that we finally exchanged phone numbers.
Needless to say, I didn't get a lot of work done that night. We ended up going to a quieter place to chat. It was a really romantic setting, with little white twinkle lights. However, it didn't really feel like a typical date. It felt more like we were friends hanging out together.
The following weeks after that, he started calling me more often and showed up places where I was. He even brought me a picnic lunch at work.
In mid May of 2007, he told me to hold a ticket for him to come and see the high school musical theater show that I choreographed that year. After he picked up his ticket, the student who worked at the box office left her post to come ask me who "Chris" was. I said he was my friend, and she gave me that head-tilted, eye-brow-raised incredulous look that only a high-school girl can give. She thought we were more, or that we needed to be more, than friends. That evening, after the show, he could probably tell how stressed I was, because he told me that he was going to take me wherever I wanted to go and do whatever I wanted to do.
We ended up getting gourmet pizza and going to a park. It "just so happened" that he had a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine in the back of his car (which isn't too far fetched, as he worked in the wine industry). We enjoyed our time together at the park. I started to have feelings for him that night, but since he didn't even try to hold my hand, I was unsure about his feelings for me.
A couple weeks later, I found Irises on my car before my Dance Performance class's final show. He came to the show and even had the chance to meet my dad for the first time. After the show was over, my dad asked me why I wasn't dating him. I told my dad that we were just friends and that he wasn't really "my type." "Well, how is your type working out for you?" he replied. He had a point. I hate when that happens.
That evening, I thought I would give it a chance to try to see him as more than just a friend. I felt like I wanted to be more, but, even with the constant attention and seemingly romantic situations we were in, I wasn't really getting the vibe from him that he wanted to be anything more.
When he met me at the after-performance party for my dance students, he and I set up what would be our actual first date.
On June 6, 2007, he picked me up at 7:00AM and took me on a "surprise day" that he had planned. Our first stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium. The whole time that we were in the aquarium, he got close to me, but didn't try to hold my hand. We took our first "official" picture together while sitting in a giant, cement clam shell.
After the aquarium, we went to Starbucks to get something warm to drink. I was addicted to sugar-free hazelnut lattes, so that is what I ordered. After ordering, I attempted to move out of the way, and my hand slid next to his. I will never forget the surge of energy that shot up my arm in that moment. If I were to guess what people mean by "having chemistry", I am pretty sure that the surge of energy was the first sign that we had "chemistry." That isn't something that happens everyday.
When we got our hot drinks and left Starbucks, he reached for my hand and held it as we walked around Canary Row and then up to a lookout point. I thought for sure he'd try to kiss me, since it was the perfect time and place to do so. He didn't.
He must have known that I needed a bit of a "challenge" at that point in my dating life. Of course, once we left that lookout point, I started to get discouraged and questioned why I was even on that "date", since I was leaving for a 2-week European vacation and moving to Orange County later that same month. I thought that maybe, since he knew I was moving, he didn't want to start anything romantic. I later found out that I was very wrong.
When we finished our stroll along the lookout point, we got in the car and went to dinner. He took me to a lovely little restaurant in Carmel, where we sat outside on a beautiful patio. It was the perfect date day, but I was still confused about the intention of the day.
After having a gooey cookie, in a cast-iron skillet, for dessert, we took a walk around Carmel. By that time, we were comfortable holding hands. He even gave me his arm to hold (what a gentleman). I took his arm and laid my head on his shoulder as we walked down the streets of Carmel together.
Being that I was drinking coffee around the clock at that point in my life, we stopped into a cute little coffee shop to get something hot to drink. Then, we stopped at a little bench and sat there while the sun started to set. He put one arm around me, and I snuggled my head into his neck (which made it difficult to drink my yummy coffee). We had a really nice view of the shoreline and the horizon. It was like something from a movie. I guess movies get their ideas from the most amazing parts of real life.
It was a bit windy, which helped with having an excuse to get close to each other. As we cuddled, my mind kept reminding me that I was going to be leaving in a few weeks, and that I was just starting to feel comfortable with being on my own. I was finally at peace with not having a significant other. Of course, I had been told that it is when you aren't looking for it that it happens. Whoever told me that was right.
We sat on the bench until just before the sky started changing color. Then, we stood up, held hands, and walked down to the beach. We both faced the water and he had his arms around me. I don't know what he was thinking, but I was on the fence about whether I wanted him to kiss me or not. One side of me wanted him to, because I started to have feelings for him. The other side didn't want me to, because I started to have feelings for him.
He tipped me to one side of the fence when he turned me around, looked me in the eye, smiled, and kissed me. I said a few curse words in my head, because I knew I was in trouble. During that moment, I had accepted that the last piece of the puzzle that would show me the picture of whether to move forward with pursuing this relationship as more than just friends. Little did I know that nine months later, he would propose to me at the very same spot where we shared our first kiss.
Over the course of our nine-month relationship, our feelings for each other grew in different ways. With each phone conversation, short weekend together during our long-distance relationship, and opportunity to overcome the tests of our relationship, we found "seeds" that we planted when we decided to pursue and cultivate a life-long commitment to each other.
That is the beginning of what has now become our Sapphire Garden.
This year, that amazing man and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. Even though I am not a jewelry person, I do know that the jewel that is associated with the fifth year of marriage is the sapphire. The deep blue sapphire signifies faithfulness, truth, and sincerity. This new year in our relationship has presented itself with opportunities to grow in these areas.
It is the year that I have promised him to be supportive in our growing faith. It is the year that I have found the truth about what our marriage represents because of our faith. It is the year that we can be honest about who we are, with humbled and passionate sincerity, because we are loved by God and by each other. This year, the marriage garden that which we committed to tending five years ago, blossoms with all that is represented by the sapphire.
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