My "Holden Caulfield" Experience

There have been a few times in my life when my past and present have decided to meet for a coffee date together. Ironically, they had a date this morning while I was in an actual coffee shop in Mission Valley.  While meeting with one of my colleagues and friends, who was visiting San Diego on vacation, in walked one of the actors from the theater show I did when I lived here 10 years ago.  He changed a lot, going from a full head of thick hair to almost none.  It made me wonder how different I must have looked to him. I am amazed how quickly some things change within  what seems like a short amount of time.  Watching two people, from different times in my life, shake hands in a coffee shop (that I used to go to quite often 10 years ago) helped me realize how much I have changed over the past few years.  Moments like this happen. They are moments that I have affectionately called, a "Holden Caulfield" experience.

Those of you who have read J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye might understand the title and main idea of this entry.  For those of you who have not been introduced to the story's main character, Holden Caulfield, I will give you a brief explanation of why I choose to call moments like today, a "Holden Caulfield" experience. It has been a while since I have read the story, so forgive me if the details are a bit blurry.

Throughout the story, Holden is in the process of transforming from boyhood to manhood. This transformation takes place while he walks through a tunnel of cynicism.  He questions the adult world's "phoniness" and rebels against having the qualities that the adults in his life possess. I don't know about you, but there have been times in my life when I went through that stage where I was determined to be opposite of the person whose qualities I despised.  Sometimes, teetering too far in the opposite direction throws me off balance from who I really am- just like it did for Holden.

Since I do not want to write a plot or character analysis, I will just say that I think his climax into the realization that he really is growing up happened when he went to the Museum of Natural History.  On his way to the museum and while he is there,  he realizes that the museum never changes- that the only thing that would be different when he goes to the museum is himself. 

With the exception of the people working there and the new types of teas, the coffee shop looked exactly the same as it did when I started going there 10 years ago.  Just being there might have sparked a "Holden Caulfield" experience for me, but seeing someone from my most resent past and my more distant past together in this place made me realize that I have entered the "Museum of San Diego," and I have noticed how much I have changed since the last time I was in that coffee shop (as well as San Diego, for that matter).  

There may be many more times that I have this experience. Some might be more pleasant than others. Just like, because he had changed, some of the things that Holden saw in the museum made him angry, there are things around me might trigger the same emotion.  As long as I remember that the experiences I had, have, and will continue to have, will lead me to allowing my true self to flourish, I think that the museums in my life will be equally pleasant experiences for me in the future.